I cup your breasts in my hands and gently bite on your earlobe. We stand for quite a while in silence staring out of the window, while I caress your nipples through the material of your dress. Suddenly you break away and say “Let’s go to the roof”. It’s a great idea. We gather up a few candles, a comforter, the CD player, the bottle of Highland Park and two glasses. We head out of the door and up the stairs to the roof. Pushing through the door onto the flat roof of the apartment block, the air is still hot and humid, but there is a slight breeze developing. We set our stuff down on a bench table there and light the candles. I pour two large measures of whisky and sit down in one of the large wooden seats. You press the play button on the stereo and adjust the sound level as the music starts. You take your whisky and down it in one. As the haunting voice of Beth Gibbons begins to sing, you start to dance slowly around my chair. I sit back and savor my whiskey as I watch you. Your. As we were walking Amanda said she had a question for me, so I told her go ahead. “ Will you go out with me?” she asked. At this exact moment I had two thoughts in my head that I will repeat verbatim. #1: WOO HOO!!!! as I did a mental fist pump. # 2: I can't, she is only 15 and it's wrong. What I said was hell yes. And thus began the best and worse relationship I ever had. I knew it was wrong to be with her but at the same time I was so into her that it didn't register. We were inseparable but didn't do anything other than make out once in a while for the first few months instead of just jumping in bed and I was just fine with that. I was really and honestly in love for the first time ever. Jump to Christmas 5 months later, we are visiting her grandmother for the holiday and I am introduced as a co worker of her step dad. The only people that know we are together besides us are Brian and her parents who gave their blessing after a looooong talk and fatherly threat about.
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